Six Months and the Number Nine

So I've been home from my mission six months now. It was six months ago yesterday that I returned home from the MTC. It's hard to believe that I've now been home twice as long as I was in the MTC. The 9th will always be a special date to me. I was born on the 9th, I received my mission call exactly a year ago on the ninth, I almost got my endowment out on the 9th (10th), and I returned home from my mission on May 9th. That's a lot of nines. But it's a good number. I still feel blessed by the experience I had. It is hard sometimes when I don't have the usual stories to tell of a returned missionary. But I know it's okay and that I had the mission experience meant just for me.

Week 11's emails were never posted. That's when the decision was made that I would be honorable released. I'm posting them now to bring a sense of completeness with emails from every week in the MTC. Most of the emails were just a back and forth between me and my family to work things out but I'd like to post them anyway. They show the struggle I went through but also the appreciation I had for my mission already. They also show how quick the decision was for me to be released. I started the morning thinking I'd possible be reassigned and by 6 that night the decision was made for my family to pick me at 10 the next day.

May 8th, 2012 9 AM

Today I have an appointment with the doctor and they probably will prescribe a anti-depressant. Yesterday was a so-so day. My companions had a sit down with me and Sister Brunelle was like we're going to talk about this and something will be done. I shared with them some feeling I had over last week. I did have suicidal thoughts but that was just because I didn't want to feel this way anymore, and I knew if I had those thoughts then people would take me seriously. We didn't go to class at all yesterday. After talking things over for awhile we decided to talk to President Seamons. Originally we wanted him to come to the MTC and we'd have a meeting like thing and get to the bottom of this. I didn't want to bother him at work so we just called his house and asked Sister Seamons to have him call us when he got back. We said a prayer after all this so I could know what to do next. I felt the spirit during this prayer, a feeling of comfort. We went back to the dorm room I said a prayer and took a nap. My companions and Sisters have been such a strength to me throughout all this. I know we are all supposed to be here together. I can't imagine what my experience would of been like as a solo sister. Anyway President Seamons didn't call us when we thought he'd return from work. Look Kruu Stevens called the President from his cell phone at the beginning of evening class 6 ish. The Look Kruus knew something was up since we hadn't been to afternoon class. Well My companions and I studied outside just waiting to hear from the President. We hadn't yet and it was getting close to 8. Look Kruu came out and talked to us and we decided to just call him at his home. While talking to him (he's a psyciatrist, (can't spell)) he said it sounded like I was clinically depressed and he suggested going to the health clinic to get prescribed a anti-depressant. I feel the supplements you sent me at first were helping but Sunday was fast sunday so I didn't take them and that could've thrown it off. Also now we're into crunch time. Something needs to be done. I don't like thinking that I'm depressed and need a pill to help me feel happy. But I have faith in the Lord. Something needs to be done to flip this situation around. I might be able to call you later today (I hope) to talk this over. A question I'm always being asked though is if there's a history of depression in my family because there are two kinds and one comes from family history. Today has been a little better but I think that's because yesterday I practically had a day off. It was easier to get up. I don't know how I've gotten up in the past. Every morning I had this weight in my heart. It was only because of me being a missionary that I would get up. I can't describe all my feelings in an email so I really hope I can talk to you later today. Tell you how it's going. On a lighter note, yesterday I was able to meet in person our new mission president, President Moon (? on spelling). He seems like a great man and I'm looking forward to learning and growing with him as our president.

Oh how I love you.

Sister Strobell

Sorry for the jumbled thoughts. I had to get this off quick.

11:30 AM

I will be able to call you later today. The phone call on Mother's day doesn't happen in the MTC. :( I have a meeting at 3 with a counselor where we will discuss the options. Right now it doesn't look like I'll be going to Cambodia on the 15th. There's starting out state side then going to Cambodia, serving state-side English speaking, going home to work things out. It's because the medicine and counseling in Cambodia aren't the best and this is something that needs to be monitored at first. We're off to the temple now. I love you so much. One thing I was wondering about with all these options and decisions to be made if it would be okay if you and Dad came down here personally. It's not to far away. I haven't been able to talk to the district presidency to know if that is okay.

Sister Emily Strobell

6 PM

Jem Riab Lia MTC

I still had a little bit of email time left for today. I forgot that my companion, Sister Tsuchida is singing in the new missionary orientation tomorrow at 3. So I would still like to do that. I don't know how that will work out. I'm mostly at peace with the decision that has been made. I feel happy now but since I'm feeling that happiness I also feel like maybe I should stay here. But I don't think the feeling would last and I would end up back where I was. I love you and have ultimate faith in the Lord.

Sister Strobell

I'd like to post pictures reflecting on my whole mission experience.

This is me opening my mission call. It goes something like "Yay!" "Wait ... What?!?!" "I'm going to Cambodia!"

And here's the video. My mom will love that I posted this but it's everyone's natural reaction. I love it! Especially when Brad waks the camera at the end.

Some members of my Sunday School class at the get together thing after my farewell (02/26)

Me and my BFF Madi

Me and my Grandma at the Provo temple before I was dropped off at the MTC.

Me and my family pre MTC dropoff

This is what the board in the classroom looked the first day. There's hardly any script and we were already freaking out.

First companionship picture taken of me, Sister Brunelle, and Sister Tsuchida.

Missionary tag

First temple walk with Sister Tsuchida. Sister Brunelle was being trained as a coordinating sister so she couldn't be there. Sister Tsuchida is one of the kindest, sweetest, cutest, and friendliest (I could go on and on and on) people you will ever meet. Nothing can get her down and she is out to make the world a better place, even if that means just one smile at a time. She also had the voice of an angel (as did Sister's vom and Solorio. They all had a set of pipes) and could play the piano so it sounded heavenly. Funnily enough, her and Sister Brunelle are companions again opening a new area for sisters in Cambodia. If anyone can do it, it's them. :)

All the awesome Cambodia sisters!

Companionship temple pic

One of my favorite companionship pictures.

Sisters on temple walk

Good luck poster my district made for me before I accompanied an Elder on the piano at a fireside.

The morning before we sang in General Conference. (Don't mind the bare feet) :)

Companionship that morning

This is an Elder going Chinese-speaking and he was hilarious. For a good week he thought "chop suey" was hello in Cambodia. He learned the right way eventually but his name became Chop Suey. :)

A cute birthday card I had everyone in my district sign for my mom. She loved it!

This definitely shows the shift in seasons. It's spring!

Posing with Elder Haem, an Elder from Cambodia going to serve in Korea.

Another one of my favorite companionship pics.

Cambodian district on P day. Note Elder Hicken flashing gang signs. I sure hope he stopped doing that before he got to Long Beach ...

Last temple walk posing with a sweet sister from Japan (her and Sister Tsuchida were instant friends) who was going to Australia English-speaking.

 The fabulous Cambodian sisters!

Me and Sister Solorio

We had a companionship exchange once in the MTC and this was the new companionship. We were so happy to have Sister Solorio. We learned a lot from her in that one day. This is us reunited at the Temple although we saw each other every day. :)

Me and Sister vom Lehn. What a sweet sister! I continue to receive her emails and updates and am astounded by her light and faith.

Me and Sister Brunelle. We had some rough patches but I wouldn't trade our companionship for the world. We learned so much from each other and will forever be friends. I also receive her emails weekly and she is constantly pushing forward and breaking new ground. She's a force for good in Cambodia.

When we weren't in the classroom, we were supposed to write up on the board where we went. This is what my companionship did one day. The whole companionship contributed to the artwork. Sister Tsuchida drew the people, Sister Brunelle the trees, and I contributed the blades of grass by the tree.

The Elders bombed our door! Of course they had sisters do it for them but they made a poster for every sister. It was Cinco de Mayo so they also gave us chips, salsa, and sombreros to celebrate with. :)

Close up of my sign. Note the elephant and a few other things. I love it! I'm going to frame it so I can hang it up and display it.

May 9th 2012. This is the last picture I ever took with my district. It's bittersweet to look at now but it reminds me of all the good times we had. Oh and the turkeys name is Tom and he was Elder Scott's. Now he's mine since I took him home with me. Everyone in the district wrote a sweet note and signed him. He's a reminder of the love of my district.

I feel so blessed for the mission experience I was able to have and the people I served. Not everyday is easy but I'm amazed at the change I have seen in myself and my feelings in the past six months. I'm in a much better place now than I was and I feel confident and hopeful about my future. I know I had this experience for a reason and that all went as it was supposed to. This opportunity has helped me learn more about myself and strengthened my love and faith in my Heavenly Father. He is always aware of us and gives us trials and struggles to grow and become better people as we trust in him.

EMS

Happy (belated) Halloween!!!

Hope everyone had a happy Halloween. It's one of my favorite holidays. I always dress up be it at work or school. I wish others would dress up too. For just one day in the year everyone could dress up as something else. It would look so fun! This year I was a female boxer and ... I sewed my boxing robe! It's actually one of the first times I've made a piece of my Halloween costume. And the best part?!?! I also won a gift certificate Yellow Bird Fabrics! I hardly ever win contests and this just happens to be to the best fabric store in Utah. Wow! I've been debating about starting a sewing blog, but the time involvement is ... a lot. Not only the time sewing but also picture taking, writing the blog post and ... yada yada yada. You get the picture. But maybe someday. :)

And the post wouldn't be complete without pictures so here you go. (Unfortunately not too many since I took these right before going to a dance Monday night. But hey, better than nothing.)

Oh I'm so tough.

Only a bona fide boxer wears Everlast. :)

Blessed

As I was reflecting on my mission experience the other day, I realized I wouldn't trade it for the world! My mission wasn't what most people think of as a mission but I feel so blessed for the time I was able to serve and the many wonderful people I came in contact with. I no longer reflect on the past with sadness or regret. I feel happiness and joy in the time I was able to serve. I learned (and am learning) Khmer, a language I would have never been involved with otherwise. I know I am on the path my Heavenly Father wants for me. I'm hoping to do an internship over the summer in Cambodia. I would love to meet and experience the people and country. Plus I will see my fellow MTC missionaries. I feel so blessed to know them and hear about their experiences out in the mission field right now. Life is great and I'm really enjoying all the opportunities I have now and in the future.

Here's the picture that started all these positive thoughts.

I'm so glad I can view my mission in a positive light now. I remember how I was feeling in the picture above. I was struggling. I didn't love my self. I felt unimportant. But no longer. I'm so happy I was able to serve and represent my Lord and Savior for those 11 weeks in the MTC. One of the best experiences of my life. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

The Lord truly does have a plan for each and every one us and knows what experiences to give us to help us learn and grow. He knows us, loves us, and is there for us. Always. :)

This is my all time favorite scripture from my time in the MTC and it definitely sums up how I feel. Thank you Sister Solorio for sharing.

Alma 26:36-37

Love,

Ems

In the Interim ...

I've now been home from the MTC about  2 1/2 months. There's been highs and lows but overall I feel that everything has worked out as it should. The past weeks haven't been the best but what's great is that everyday is a new day.


Shortly after I got home from the MTC I wanted a change, a new me that would say I was ready to make good changes and be confident in myself. One of those was to cut (chop) my hair. i've always loved short hair and wanted a spunkier hair cut. Honestly if I stayed on my mission I'm pretty sure I would've done the same thing.

The new do

Just yesterday the girls in the family to a quick trip to Cedar City to see two shows from the Utah Shakespeare Festival, To Kill a Mockingbird and Mary Stuart. They were both amazingly well done of course and fabulously enjoyable (lots of adverbs :) Sadly I got a little moody shortly before Mary Stuart so I only saw the second half but it was still great. Thanks to the fam for always dealing with my highs and lows. They're so great. Gotta love 'em. :)

High 5's all around for successfully shutting the trunk. It was fickle the whole trip. We even got a squeak out of it. (You had to be there to understand) :)

 I don't recognize her wearing those shoes. My gold shoes finally quit (the tongue broke) so we did some shoe swapping between my sandals and these wedges. Isn't it great when all the girls in the family have the same size feet?!? (Really we all do ... Well they're close enough that we can share shoes. Size 9 is the golden number)

Half the reason I go to the festival ... The food! Pastry Pub is always on my list for lunch. Delicious sandwiches (and other stuff but I stick with what I love).

Their salads are another delicious option. See these gorgeous gals enjoying theirs? So la-ah! That means good in Cambodian (and a lot of other things but that's a topic for another day) :)


With love,
Ems


Oh and I almost forgot, I should be getting a car soon. That will make life 10 million times easier. A cute '96 black Honda Civic. Many road trips to come. Stay tuned ...

Week 10 - 5/01/12

(Excerpts from Emily's family email)

The language is coming along. It doesn't flow as smoothly as I would like but I know that it's only through doing my all and then trusting in the Lord that I will be able to receive the gift of tongues. It's strange to think that just a few short weeks ago I couldn't even recognize the differences between the characters, let alone read them. Now I'm reading and writing in Khmer. Woh! The script is easy for me though. Speaking and understanding is harder and that's what's most important. Our companionship has really committed these last two weeks to crack down on our language skills.


Did you guys happen to watch Music and the Spoken Word Sunday? I have to say that is one of the highlights of my week. I'll miss watching it every week. Anyways I especially enjoyed the message of the spoken part (as I always do. But I enjoy hearing the music too. We don't hear a whole lot of music here in the MTC except on Sunday and Tuesday. Tuesday because of the devotional we have). There was a quote shared from Margaret Thatcher that said something along the lines of "Look at a day when you've been truly satisfied. It's when you've had everything to do and done it." That phrase is so applicable to missionary work and the attitude I want to have when looking back on it. That I had this great work before me to do and I did it. If you could send me the transcript of the message I would very much appreciate it. :) I also liked when Lloyd Newell said "We feel physically tired but emotionally renewed." I can say as a missionary you are always tired. But that's not what matters. You forget yourself and go to work. That's when the blessings come and the joy you get from the work is worth it.

Week 9 - 4/24/12

(Excerpts from Emily's family email)

(above note is Emily writing in Khmer script)

The Cambodian is coming along. I can read from the Book of Mormon. The letters no longer look the same. I've heard two funny comparisons of what Cambodian looks like to others. One is it looks like somebody threw spaghetti at the walls and the other is it looks like bent pitchforks. I'm working on memorizing the first vision in Cambodian. Right now I have about one line down and the pronunciation is probably horrible but it's better than nothing.


At Relief Society last Sunday we had Sister Ann M. Dibb speak to us. I'm sure you are familiar with her as the second counselor in the General Young Women's Presidency but also our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson's daughter. She gave to us advice straight from the prophet's mouth. Talk about personalized! A funny phrase he said that I'd like to share here (and of course it applies to missionary work) is "work will win when wishy washy wishing won't." That's exactly what missionary work is. It's hard but you forget yourself, go all in, and get to work.

Week 8 at the MTC - 4/17/12

(Excerpts from Emily's family email)

In the middle of the night we were awakened to the most annoying sound ever. The fire alarm was going off! at 1:30 in the morning! I wasn't worried. I guess I knew there really wasn't a fire. We're not for sure why it was pulled, probably a prank or accident. We rushed out of our room, ended up in the gym (which is just across the way from where our dorms are) and stayed there for about 10 minutes then we were let back into our dorm. The alarm started up again but only beeped about 3 times before it went off. It took me forever to get back to sleep. It made for an interesting night. In the morning all the alarm clocks going off annoyed me more than usual.

I'm so glad Marion's car was found! And mostly the same. :) The sink part makes for a great story. Throw in the gun, 5 stereos, a blanket and it's hilarious. Hilarious the state it was found in, not that it was stolen. The Lord blesses us in so many ways. I know Marion's had an interesting month but I'm so glad to hear that she's enjoying life and grateful for it.

Something I've been thinking about this last week (and it was brought up in Relief Society) is keeping our missionary experiences current. I know the family isn't the one out on a mission but we all have opportunities in our lives to share the gospel. Grandma also mentioned in her letter she sent to me a couple weeks ago how she enjoys any opportunity she gets to have a spiritual or gospel related conversation with somebody. So family, here's my challenge. I challenge you to look for missionary opportunities, chances to share the gospel with a friend, neighbor, acquaintance, etc. And I want to hear about them. It's not a numbers challenge. It's a get outside yourself and share challenge.

I'm so excited to get to Cambodia. 28 days! (But who's counting? I AM.)

(Here we are pointing to the small but beautiful/wonderful country of Cambodia)

Week 7 at the MTC - 4/10/12

(Excerpt from Emily's family email)

Sunday was Easter! Hope everyone had a Happy Easter! It was different being in the MTC but it was very special. We had three general authorities there, an apostle included. Want to guess which apostle spoke to us??? President Boyd K. Packer! Also his son Elder Packer. Elder Evans was there presiding since he's over the missionary department in his calling. Something that stood out to me in President Packer's talk was fear over faith. Fear is the opposite of faith. Out here on a mission we need to exercise our faith in the Lord, put all our trust in him because this is where we're supposed to be. Our faith gives us power. Also that we are never alone. God is always with us. That has been such a strength to me on my mission. He also said our missions won't be ideal but the trials will make us stronger. That's just what I needed to hear. It's amazing too that in one talk people can get revelation and apply it to themselves. One talk can have multiple messages. Also that night we had a fireside in which the BYU Mens Chorus sang. An Easter away from home especially made me realize how important the Savior is in my life, how powerful the Atonement is for everyone, and how grateful I am for this gospel. All gospel principles have taken on more meaning in my life has I have come to learn of them more throughly for myself. Most importantly the Sacrament Meeting. Before my mission I don't think I truly realized how important that one hour meeting is. We have an hour to remember our Savior and His Atonement. Also we renew our baptismal covenants. We rededicate ourselves to Christ each week. This Easter's sacrament was especially poignant as it was passed out to a congregation of over 2000 at our Easter Conference. Talk about a once in a lifetime opportunity which my mission has been full of. Singing in General Conference, being in the MTC for Easter, and there could be more. That's just all I can think of. But that's really what a mission is. A once in a lifetime chance to serve the Lord and devote 100% of your time to him and bringing people unto him. Talk about amazing. I want to use the time on my mission to really make a difference in other's lives. I don't want to have any regrets looking back on this amazing opportunity I have to serve Heavenly Father.

Week 6 at the MTC

(excerpt from Emily's family email sent 4/3/12)

I can't believe I saw you guys on Saturday! That was unreal. I will always remember singing in conference and being able to wave and blow kisses up to my family in the balcony seats. What an experience!

In my email today I'm going to talk about the songs we sang and how my testimony of each principle has grown so much while on my mission. We opened the conference singing "Glory to God on High." This song is all about praising our Lord and God and all he has blessed us with. The Atonement, repentance, prayer, and much more. "Praise Ye His Name1" We should always give thanks to God for all he blesses us with.

As I shared in previous emails, my testimony of prayer has grown immensely since my weeks in the MTC. "Lead Kindly Light" so eloquently expresses the idea of being guided by our Heavenly Father. If we turn our problems over to him and trust in him, they will be worked out in the way they are supposed to. Lastly "Praise to the Man." That song was amazing. I loved the arrangement and the way it was sung there was so much power behind those words. I really felt the meaning of them. Also Mum as you pointed out in your letter (I received the package today. Thank you! It was a real booster and full of so many lovely things) Millions shall know Brother Joseph again through missionary work. That's what I'm out doing right now. Bringing the message of the restored gospel to others. "Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven" is my favorite line. What I'm doing now is a sacrifice but I know it will also be such a blessing.

Emily's Patch of Love

Emily's Pillowcase

                          As a patch of love for Emily to lay her head on at night Laura sewed a pillowcase and drew the elephant (which is Emily's favorite animal btw) in which we all traced our hands onto and wrote the reference to our favorite scripture. In case your curious or want to mark up you personal scriptures, here are the verses we cited:

D&C 6:33-37

Joshua 24:15

Helaman 5:12

2 Nephi 32: 2,3,5,9

2 Kings 6:14-17 

Singing in the MTC choir for April General Conference

The MTC Choir sang in the Saturday afternoon session - March 31, 2012

This is how the choir looked from my family's seats in the far right balcony section.

 This is the closest picture my family could take with the camera zoomed as far as it could go and then put up against a binocular lens (before the session started).

My family captured these pictures from off our TV when they replayed the session at home.

My family caught up with me and my companions before we got on our bus!!!! (My cousin Matthew Anderson took the picture. He and his wife Janae saw my family just before they saw me.)